I've been totally out of the blog loop. I will buy a shirt if you have any smalls for me.
I'm feeling so ________...I don't know the word. Insecure? Un-self-confident? I'm like falling apart at the seams at a time when I need to be stitched tight the most!
I'm going through another phase of "omg, i can't be a counselor, i suck at everything, what am i doing with my life?" crap.
I suck at counseling - I'm going to see my first client next week. We did some role-playing with a classmate this week. I was horrible. My body language and nonverbals sucked, and the worst part is that I couldn't even muster a half-way decent empathetic response.
Maybe I don't understand people enough to do this. Maybe I was never meant to do this. But then what is it I should be doing?
Ever since a couple years into college, I've been having trouble with words. I forget the words I need and stumble in my speech. I read books and I write well, so why can't I speak???
I am trying to remind myself that pain and struggle are an UNAVOIDABLE part of living and I would do well to embrace this. Maybe I'm just freaking out and everything will fall into place soon enough. If I run away, quit, whatever, I'd be simply reinforcing myself by avoiding the fear and then I'll never do anything risky. OR maybe I should quit b/c I suck at people.
On another note, wtf is up with Joaquin? Does he actually believe people are fucked up for reacting to his personality/career change the way they are? He's an actor - he understands people and how they work. He must be doing some kind of experiment.