Thursday, October 30, 2008

Swing State like a Motherfucker

I can haz vote? Yeah, I voted Green for Congress. What of it? (Though I was tempted to vote for Charlie Wilson and Jimmy Stewart because of their names.)

After I voted, I was told I had a "voting glow", but it might be the fact that it was 42 degrees outside.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

smell yo...

so one of my new friends in seattle showed me this last night. life changing. i swear.

(i couldnt embed was disabled.)

cold outside.

hey guys, it's really cold outside.

Don't Vote... again. But better.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

F'ed in the A

someone broke my car window and took my ipod and work phone. karma police or vigilante justice?

Douche off. Don't worry, not quite the literal kind.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

and a baseball bat

Monday, October 27, 2008

order of shit mabeuf needs

1. Dynamo 3-peat
2. obama/begich victory
3. stevens guilty

well my friends, check off #3!!!!!! stevens was found guilty, and white that is in no way (read:zip zilch zero none) a guarantee of begich's victory on the 4th, it certainly keeps him from head-shot that an innocent verdict would have been.

call and congratulate mabeuf!!

the streets of nacogdoches will run with the booze of today's victory in alaska and the rest of the world!

Nac Attack

I will miss the Halloween Party. If there is some facebook invite for it, I never got it. That doesn't matter, cause I can't go to it. I miss Nac. I miss my friends. Life here is not as cool and exciting. You guys are all so individually weird and good that I don't think I can find a replacement clique.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Dream Scream Believe 2008 (extended)

I believe.

Who is driving to the finals?


did i mention that nothing else matters right now? that this is it? biggest month of the year.
suena. grita. cree.Delete

and wow. i hadn't seen this one yet.

this guy should not be able to babysitt ever again

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I just wrote a poem about zombies

I'm thinking of turning it in for workshop next week, but I'm not sure.

Somebody's Always Killing Their Loved Ones

When the zombies come for us,
with their rotten meat stench and paralytic shuffle,
I'm afraid we'll have to break up.
Not because I'll feel less of an attraction to you
or we'll argue about who gets to use the chainsaw,
but because I know that we'll inevitably be locked
in a room together in some abandoned warehouse,
strip mall, or grocery store. And you know how it is
in the movies, when the intrepid survivors find themselves
trapped in a room, doors and windows securely boarded up -
somebody, a mother, a best friend, a lover, is always hiding
the fact that they've been bitten.
I'd rather succumb to the zombie hordes outside and let
myself become a part of the mindless zombie oblivion
than have to kill you. Or, if I'm the one lying about the blood
seeping through the leg of my pants, I wouldn't want
you to shoulder that burden.

Yes, I know that our self-preservation instincts will overcome
our love for one another. You'll trip over something grotesque
and I'll think for a minute of saving you, maybe, but the zombies
will be right behind us. Better you just head north, and I'll make
for the coast. In a few years after this all blows over,
perhaps we'll agree to meet in Poughkeepsie and talk about old times
and laugh about how stupid those zombies were.

For those of you who care

My captor was sentenced yesterday.
It's been a long week.
I'm ready for bed.


miss you guys.

thank goodness for humor

these guys are awesome. i would've just gotten angry. they saw the complete and utter lack of brains in this dude and decided to poke some fun at him. he's worthless, meaning not worth getting my undies in a bunch over. unfortunately, i have temper issues.

stupid experience

I didn't get ANOTHER job I interviewed for. It was a grad research assistant job where I'd do research and co-facilitate a training program for teen parents.

I didn't have as much experience as some other applicant.


I am so sick of being a fucking writing tutor. I hate it. I've outgrown it or it's outgrown me, whatever. I need something more related to counseling and helping others (with LIFE problems, not writing papers).

I hate life at this moment.

I want to cry, but I'm at my stupid writing center job, where I make very little money and am beginning to hate every stupid fucking freshman and ESL student that walks in here. Fucking bucket heads.

I want a beer.

some quotes from my house last night

the whole time i'm trying not to say anything.

"the daily show is actually more conservative than the colbert report"

"no, the colbert report is. colbert is really the most conservative person on tv, and he's just fooling everyone."

about palin "i don't like 'that' woman. not that i'm anti-women, but i don't like her......if a woman is president, i'm moving to canada."

and then i kinda had to focus on my mouth staying closed.

i'm andrew and i'm dumb

last night on the history channel they had "Monster Hunters: Giant Squid", needless to say i stayed up till 1 when it was over. I love the shit out of squid, especially after one almost killed the annoying dive supervisor. but unfortunately i am one of the worlds leading researchers on the the buggers, so there was only a bit of new info for me. UNTIL i saw the next show was "Monster Hunter: Giant Spider". Now, if 100ft squid arnt your thing, what about 5 foot wide tarantulas that EAT DOGS. Granted, unless you live in the jungle/rainforest you wont have to worry about that...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Monday, October 20, 2008

terry tate

oh, how ive missed him

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Serious question, guys.

What the fuck should I be for Halloween? This is more important than in years past; I feel an obligation to step it up given the importance and general debauchery of Halloween in this town. So far the only idea I've given any consideration is something we were talking about in the office, going as literary concepts. I was thinking of being The Narrator and dressing somewhat fancy and narrating everything that goes on around me all night. Until I get punched in the face.

halp plz

this looks like it will be pretty cool

Funny Stuff I Found

Also, this article

Memorable lines include:

"I got a decent sample anyway: half men, half women, half white; a third were over 50, and I'm pretty sure 12% were gay, even if 4% were probably denying it to themselves."

"I was told by the very nice election-board workers that in-person early voters come in two varieties: the superinformed and the people Obama supporters pick up off the streets and throw into a van. You can tell the difference mainly by smell."


Saturday, October 18, 2008

Ohio, Autumn

I've always enjoyed what I think of as "Fall" - slightly crisper air for about one week a month in October and November, the occasional windiness, pumpkin carving and pumpkin pie. Now that I live in Ohio, however, I have truly experienced the transition to Autumn. Trees light up for a short, but wonderful, burst of color, a festival of lights in miniature. I now understand what the point of a Fall Foliage Tour might be - an experience that should I desire to undertake is available out of Athens by train. Apparently it's kind of boring, though, because it goes in a straight line and back, instead of a circle.

The weather has been consistently chilly; the days that I'm not forced to wear a hoodie, it gets up to maybe the mid-eighties range. Those days are pretty rare though. This is the kind of cold weather I like, and I realize now that in the past when I've claimed that I prefer the cold to the heat, this is the cold I was thinking of. I honestly have very little scope of what I'm going to be getting into in the winter here. I have the feeling that once I'm in it for a few months and forced to be up to teach at nine in the morning, I'll not enjoy the cold as much as I once thought. For now, I'll enjoy the "cold" weather and beautiful surroundings while I can still get away with not wearing a hat and gloves. I hope you enjoyed this little reflective piece/minor update on my life in Ohio. HERE ARE PICTURES.

Friday, October 17, 2008

a sliding scale of lewdness

i would play this game, and totally build a boat with tim robbins

Thursday, October 16, 2008

reading and ego-entrism

do you apply most things you read to your own life? (brian, i know you don't read.. you can skip this, or insert "watch" and "movie" for "read" and "books")
i do. maybe this is good, and helps me process information/plots, and also my own feelings/happening, and maybe it's bad, and keeps me from delving into other characters instead of "losing myself on books" which is i think the point of some books. and movies.
anyway. i just finished reading the poisonwood bible and it made me think of sam a lot. first of all, it criticizes religion a lot, which obviously sam was down with. secondly, the loss of a character and the reaction of others (no i'm not giving anything away- it's mentioned pretty early on) was remarkably similar in many ways to my experience with sam's death. mostly the part where they have to tell another character about it. granted, it was in africa. and the person did not die in nearly the same way. but still. i think death and the reactions to it are pretty universal. they differ in manifestation but not really in the basics.
i know this is vague, but i think everyone should read the book and i don't want to give it away. and i know it's sad, but i have come to the conclusion that i should be less afraid to make people feel sad when i talk about it because i effing need to talk about it. anyway, i kind of had to get that out, because i finished the book and had to go directly to class and take a quiz so it wasn't really enough processing time.

Monday, October 13, 2008


this is probably the cutest thing ever to exist. click on the slideshow if nothing else.

Walking artichokes.

Friday, October 10, 2008


if you dont understand why the word blizzard gives me a boner than this link isnt for you

making sure there's a headline

i wish i had my camera because right now i'm sitting across from this guy at ziggy's and he's wearing these jeans up to his man-boobs, a hawaiian shirt tucked in and then a women's sunhat.

needless to say, i am cracking up.

also, i don't know if i'll be able to go to nac for halloween. the school i work for is having some fall fest or something and i'm having a hard time getting out of it because i'm "such a joy to work with."


thank you, christian moviegoers.


whats better than a bass ukelele?

the piano/eukelele/kazoo (final countdown included for free)

top 10 reasons shea is cooler than us

reason number 1-10:
garlic tattoo.
click to enlarge.

yeah. i'm jealous. although it wouldn't look as good on me i'm afraid.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Hey Sean

Have you seen this article about Google's safeguards against drunk emailing?

Google Stops You from Sending Mail You Will Regret

I thought of you when I read this because you have talked up the excellence of Google in the past.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

A dance song for the end of the world

"Sure, I know it's apocalypse
But can't it wait til I kiss your lips?"

Can we please have an Apocalypse themed party sometime when Mike is back in the country, er, I mean, Texas?

guess what, evil?

this girl finally got herself a job! it's at this irish restaurant/pub place called fiddler's hearth. so hopefully i can come to san marcos soon. i don't start till the 18th, so it might be a little while till i can come cause i'll have to pay rent and stuff but soon after that, i promise!

other than that, life is good. i'm sitting at clementine's coffee bar watching harold and maude on the patio, drinking a beer.

thanks brian

you're right brian. i do "know who my real friends are". andrew sir. you are out. unless you go move to new zealand with me.

everyone! i have written about this before. if you use internet explorer (IE) then:

i hate you and you are dumb.

please. think of the children and use either Firefox, Safari, or Chrome. don't use IE. it sucks and you will too.

please use this link to become smart.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

i like turtles

best moment of my day? using "godammit donnie, you're out of your element" in perfect context to my coworker.

i think we need a new social contract. i mean, honestly...when was the last time anyone thought about revising the old lass... french revolution? communism? i feel like im watching a dogfight: politicians are the dogs, ceo's are the gamblers, and the rest of us are zombies.

Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals

Why George Lucas?

I just read an article in which Harrison Ford admitted that they are planning a fifth Indiana Jones movie. Why can't they leave our childhood alone?

I'm beginning a job as a waitress this week. I have never waited tables before, but I have to go through a really thorough training program first. I'm so nervous. What if I drop a tray? Or spill something all over my customers?

It has cooled down a lot here in Dallas which is very exciting for me. Autumn is my favorite season. I feel inspired and ready for change.

What are you guys looking forward to in the next few months? I mean, besides Halloween which is the greatest holiday ever.


song chart memes

some of you may have noticed that i haven't been around very much in the last few weeks. i'm at once trying to save money and travel every weekend (as it turns out). so my time at the FB is being sacrificed. i'm also going to substitute playing video games for social interaction. that being said- i love you all.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

can you dig it?

i have The Internet. from fark with love.
when the guy connected my tv robinhood men in tights was on, i love that movie.

i threw even on moffit park today, including birdies on 15 and 16 that crushed my brother's last glimmer of hope. eye of the tiger picture yourself achieving cant teach heart.

mike: mrs. baird's fruitpies

VPilf 2008

Top Story

Stolen from Toothpastefordinner's RSS feed.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

This is amazing. Seriously.

MONROE, Wash. – In a move that could be right out of a Hollywood movie, a brazen crook apparently used a Craigslist ad to hire a dozen unsuspecting decoys to help him make his getaway following a robbery outside a bank on Tuesday. He then made his escape in an inner tube on the Skykomish River.

The robbery happened about 11 a.m. on an armored truck guard at a Bank of America branch.

"He was wearing a dust mask, a particle mask. At first I thought it might be a surgical mask. I still didn't think anything was wrong, just unusual. Then I noticed he had a pump sprayer," said Mitch Ruth, who had looked out his office window and noticed the man walking into the bank.
Related Content

9/30/08: Bank car robber escapes on Skykomish River

KING 5 North Bureau

North Bureau blog

The robber sprayed the guard with pepper spray, grabbed a bag of money the guard was carrying and ran about 100 yards to the creek that runs into the Skykomish River, shedding clothes as he ran.

But apparently, the robber had planned ahead. In case anyone was hot on his trail, he had at least a dozen unsuspecting decoys waiting nearby, which he recruited on Craigslist.


An armored car sits outside a Bank of America branch in Monroe, Wash. on Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2008. Police say a man tried to rob the car, then jumped into a creek that led to the Skykomish River.

"I came across the ad that was for a prevailing wage job for $28.50 an hour," said Mike, who saw a Craigslist ad last week looking for workers for a road maintenance project in Monroe.

He said he inquired and was e-mailed back with instructions to meet near the Bank of America in Monroe at 11 a.m. Tuesday. He also was told to wear certain work clothing.

"Yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask… and, if possible, a blue shirt," he said.

Mike showed up along with about a dozen other men dressed like him, but there was no contractor and no road work to be done. He thought they had been stood up until he heard about the bank robbery and the suspect who wore the same attire.

From there, the cook made his watery escape in a creek that dumps out into the Skykomish River. One witness said the robber swam away, but another said he used an inner tube to get away.

"We did get an inner tube that was about 200 yards from the place where he entered the water and took that for evidence," said Debbie Willis, Monroe Police.

Investigators believe accomplices could have picked the robber up at a nearby boat launch or park.

The FBI is helping Monroe Police trace the ad and want to talk to anyone who responded.

"Any piece of information anyone has could be the piece of the puzzle we need to apprehend the suspects," said Debbie Willis, Monroe Police.

Some Monroe residents, while not endorsing what the robber did, are somewhat amused.

"Creative. Not a right way of doing it, but creative," said Monroe resident Byron Bevard.

"I grew up in LA and I never heard of anything so crazy in my life," said resident Sarah Vazquez.

The suspect is described as a white man in his 20s, between 5-foot-7 and 5-foot-10, wearing a dark blue shirt, jean shorts and a mask.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

yo hay

"I try to be like him more and more every day...not care as much about what people think, be more hospitable, pay closer attention to those around me, be a hard worker..." -Micky

Def. admirable qualities to strive for!

I'm really glad Sean started us writing about our feelings and thoughts on Sam and where we're at now with what happened. It makes me feel a lot better.

Here's my favorite quotes from Viktor Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning: READ THEM!

-Set me like a seal upon thy heart, love is a strong as death.

-Man’s suffering is similar to the behavior of gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it fills the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore, the “size” of human suffering is absolutely relative.
It also follows that a very trifling thing can cause the greatest of joys.

-Everything can be taken from man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

-It does not really matter what we expect from life but rather what life expects from us.

-Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.
These tasks, and therefore the meaning the of life, differ from man to man and from moment to moment.

-Nietzsche: He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.

-Being human always points, and is sometimes directed, to something, or someone, other than oneself – be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself –by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love – the more he actualizes himself.

-Ultimate meaning necessarily exceeds and surpasses the finite intellectual capacities of man.

-What is demanded of man is not, as some existential philosophers teach, to endure the meaninglessness of life, but rather to bear his incapacity to grasp its unconditional meaningfulness in rational terms.

AND ALSO: these websites are very funny/good. GO TO THEM.

(I feel like I have to yell at you guys to do stuff b/c no one ever listens to me.)

oh geez oh man