Saturday, September 6, 2008

Bittersweet, Long-ass Post Warning

First let me apologize if anybody thinks it is weird that I went through and copied all of these. Also, sorry for the length. I tried to figure out how to do cuts on Blogger, but it is a very complex process that involves changing the entire template of the blog and it would be annoying.

So, anyway, as I'm sure some of you who are included in this list know, Sam went through his facebook at some point and started crafting little vignettes about how he knew different people, on facebook's "how do you know this person?" thing. They are overall funny, and witty, and very much Sam. I was remembering this recently, and think I mentioned it to someone who had never seen them, and I got curious about an hour ago to read mine again. And in the process I went through and read everybody else's. And copied them all to a text file to post on the blog in an easy-to-read fashion. Some of them are part of the group, some of them are people I don't know at all. But here it is. I enjoyed reading these, hopefully you will too.

Sean Bibby

* They met randomly: Deep within a nameless dungeon, adventuring for loot no less, I was struck down by a giant toad. All seemed lost but a magic wielding rogue rolled a statistics defying amount of 20's, saving my life.

Michael Carpentier

* They met randomly: During the Great War, I was ordered to "go over the top". As the whistles blew and we streamed forth in to No Mans Land, I found myself in a shell crater with a blond bespectacled soldier. Carpentier and I were friends ever since.

Sarah Cotten

* They met randomly: Used to strip at a club called Le Bare, Cotten came in all the time and had a developed a habit of leaving 20's in my g-string.

Max Croes

* They met randomly: Finding myself with only one comrade left on the battlefield, I met Max. Together we were able to repel a direct assault by Crusers and his whole team with only one bullet a piece, bayonets, and a whole lot of Say Anything.

Meagan Cummings

* They met randomly: Was rocking out to Foreigner during the Metal Lands concert, and who do I see flashing Lou Gramm but little old Meagan.

Dan Eldridge

* They met randomly: Back in my privateering days Eldridge and I used to pillage treasure with saber and flintlock pistol in hand.

Stephanie Gerber

* They met randomly: She signed on as a dirty pirate hooker for my ship.

Ashley Gormsen

* They met randomly: I apparently sucked her off through a glory hole.

Michael Jaynes

* You met randomly: I'd taken one bullet too many, surrounded by enemies I laid in a puddle of crimson. All seemed lost until several shots rang out and none but one still stood. I strained to see my savior; heroes wear mullets and carry .357's.

Yoshiharu Kobayashi

* They met randomly: Yoshi and I had both volunteered for the Jinrai Butai but the War ended before we could fall in battle. Since then we decided to live our lives peacefully until the homeland once again calls for our services.

Nadaha McCullough

* They met randomly in 1951: Whilst razing a town for mine own delight, a tiny pixie, Nadaha, loosed an arrow (tooth pick) in to my eye. This eyepatch is a reminder of how I dislike pixies and all of faerie kind.

Stephanie McFall

* They met randomly: I was in a particularly cold region slaughtering penguins at a whim when a tiny, "fun-size" girl attempts to stop me. The battle was such that I haven't any memory of the outcome, but i'd like to think I let her live because I was too busy ending penguins.

Katie Menowsky

* They met randomly in 1966: In the jungles of 'Nam.

Craig Reeves

* They met randomly: Back after the Krauts surrendered, Corporal Reeves and I were stationed in Berlin. Had a great time drinking vodka with the ruskies, and learned the corporal had quite the talent for piano.

Sarah Rossmiller

* They met randomly: Met Evil at Gothcon 04, she wears black knee high boots with a 4 inch lift.

Laura Sandifer

* They met randomly: I've a penchant for playing online billiards. One night I was approached by a particularly salacious player who in fact turned out to be our Mrs. Laura Sandifer. Who knew?

Kari Schneider

* They met randomly: After being framed for a the theft of some priceless art, I was on the run from international authorities. The feds were close by but Kari let me hide in her room assuring my freedom. I still owe her a favor.

Lindsey Shepherd (the freshman girl who was topless at Mabeufapalooza)

* They met randomly: A large marker and too much alcohol.

Ashley Stinedurf

* They met randomly in 2004: In 04 I was sweating her nuts, then she tea bagged me so now we're just friends.

Rachel Thomason

* They met randomly: Was in the audience at the college edition of Wheel of Fortune, during the price guessing pre-round she beat me by $.03. Three cents that will haunt me forever!

Mr. Zero

* They met randomly: When we pilaged a villege in asia while armed with a Back Scratcher and a tooth pick as our primary weapons.


Mike Jaynes said...

Thinking about it now, Zero may have written his. OH WELL.

After Dinner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shady McDougal said...

ok so I commented on the wrong email. Oops. Anyway, awesome and I wish Facebook still asked for this when you got a new friend. Too much work now

sarah evil said...

thanks for making me cry and then finding out zero wrote them. ugh. how would zero know anything about my goth phase?